10 Ways To Improve Your OWN Body Language

Posted: April 14, 2010 in Mentalism

I’ve done quite a few articles on this blog about how you can watch other peoples Body Language cues and what they could mean whether its the person you’re talking to or whether its someone sitting on a bus. Recently I’ve realized that throughout the entire blog, there isn’t a single article talking about how someone can improve their own body language to come across more genuine and friendly to others around you, and thats exactly what this article is about. Improving your body language can have a surprisingly big affect, not only can it improve your attractiveness, but it can also improve your people skills and general mood.

Firstly, to be able to change and improve your body language you must be aware of your current body language. So before putting the tips below into place, I’d advise you just to spend a couple of days or so looking at your own body language in various situations. How do you sit when you’re on a bus or train? How do you stand when you’re talking to your boss compared to a girl/guy? Do you fold your arms a lot? You could also practice standing in front of the mirror and just looking to see how you stand, this may sound silly, but no one will be watching you so you have nothing to worry about.

Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out. You may also want to observe others body language, observe those who you look up to, what body language do your idols have? What body language do your favourite movie stars use? You can begin to take bits and pieces from different people and try using what you’ve learnt from them.

Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work backwards too. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements you’ll feel calmer. Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will begin to fade away.

In the beginning it can be easy to exaggerate your body language, but thats okay because eventually you’ll begin to use it more subtly again. So before I start rabbiting on any further, here are the 18 ways to improve your own body language.

1. Don’t cross your arms or legs – Crossing your arms and legs can give the appearance that you’re defensive and closed, having your arms and legs unclosed will make you seem more open and friendly to people.

2. Make Eye Contact but don’t stare – Making eye contact is a good way to make people feel more comfortable around you, if you’re constantly looking down and away from the person you’re talking to, they may begin to feel they’re boring you and may get up and leave. Whilst maintaining good eye contact, be sure to make sure you’re not staring at them.

3.  Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space can be a good way to show self confidence, if someone is not confident then they will tend to take up the least space possible, sit with your legs open and arms spread out if you want to come across as confident.

4. Relax your shoulders – When we feel tense it will begin to show around your shoulders and they may rise and become tense, relax your shoulders by shaking them a bit, deep breathes can also help relive tension.

5. Nod when they’re talking – Nod once in a while whilst someone is talking to show them that you’re listening, but don’t over do it.

6.  Smile and Laugh – Lighten up a little and don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can joke around and show people that you’re not too serious then people will warm to you much more quickly, than if you come across as this serious, boring person.

7. Don’t touch your face – This might seem a weird one, but when people are nervous (or perhaps lying) they will touch their face to try and comfort themselves, try not to touch your face as this will show more self-confidence.

8. Keep your head up – Always look in front of you whilst you’re walking, people who have their heads and eyes down appear insecure and a bit lost.

9. Use your hands more confidently – Instead of fidgeting with something whilst you’re talking, try using hand gestures to add more meaning and force to the point that you’re trying to make, this will make you appear more confident in what you’re saying and you’ll come across more genuine.

10. Mirroring – When you’re talking to someone, subtly copy their body language movements, if they scratch their neck then a few minutes later scratch yours, mirroring someone can dramatically reduce the time in which it’ll take for someone to warm to you, they will feel you’re genuine and a little like them. When in a good discussion mirroring takes place automatically.

Put these tips into affect for a few days and then you’ll begin to notice a difference in how people respond to you. You may feel awkward/weird doing some of these at first, however after a few days you’ll adapt to them and they’ll start to become second nature to you.

Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out.

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Comments
  1. ADITYA says:

    it is helpful in life

  2. ADITYA says:

    simple and nice things

  3. […] is the original post: 10 Ways To Improve Your OWN Body Language « The Art of Mentalism  Mail this post to a friendAKPC_IDS += "1029,";Popularity: unranked [?] var […]

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